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I always thought a "wish list" rather self-indulgent. I now think differently. I usually live by my motto, "If you don't ask, you don't get", so why wouldn't this apply to a wish list I had to ask myself. I'm not a very materialistic person, but after doing without most things many people take for granted, I feel it's time to change. Naturally I also wish for peace in our world, for cures for diseases, for no more cruelty to ourselves and to animals, and much more.
Optimism is a hidden attribute I do possess, but it seems more and more difficult to locate as the months and years fly by. I am tired of living hand to mouth, day to day, year in and year out. I fear resuming my old practices of self-neglect because of the failure I sometimes feel I am. I help others out where I can, and in particular my elderly neighbors (I ran errands, took them to doctors appointments, cleaned house, fed horses, helped with the vegetable garden, checked on her many times during the day and did her hair and took her to the bathroom - she passed away in December 2006), which I found rewarding and I only got paid for the house cleaning. The rest I did because I loved doing it.
I came to this country nine years ago, with one large suitcase and much
determination, to better my life and to save myself from myself. I had my Green Card and worked part-time here and there, mostly for minimum wage. Jobs like waitressing (a temporary job), substituting at my local library (an ongoing situation but I'm only working about 1 - 10 hours a month if I'm lucky!), a job in a school kitchen (I and five others left because there were some who made our workdays - 5 hours - a living hell), and I do a little copy editing for a website (I earned less than $1,000 in 2009). I published a book in 2005 which hasn't earned me anything, and I published another in October 2007 (didn't earn anything either mainly because of the very poor marketing job by the publisher), and I went on to self-publish a book of my wildlife photographs). I have also started a new little business as a travel companion to women 50+ who don't like traveling alone (see my website at Travel with a Pal) which promises to be fulfilling. I still live in a unfinished basement, don't have a car, ride around on a bicycle, can't afford much more than a few things a year from Goodwill, have no health insurance, and my future looks bleak. But, I have to say, I'm happy. My website is my saving grace, especially the book review and blog pages (even though I don't blog regularly anymore), and keeps my mind focused, thank God.
My greatest wish is to earn a living so that I can get out on my own. I'd like to design uncomplicated websites for people who want one but don't have much money and don't know how to make one, and to have some freelance proofreading work as I'd like to build up a proofreading service I can do from home.
I'd love to be in a position to start a fundraising organization to help animals. I'm working on a cookbook project (for nigh on two years) to use as a tool to raise funds for women and children who flee abusive homes. I have other book projects to use as fundraisers as well.
I love this country so much - my soul found peace here - and I want to make this drastic late-in-life (it's never too late) move really work. I want to give back to this country for opening her arms and welcoming me. (On July 22, 2010 I was sworn in as a naturalized American citizen!)
Other items on my wish list (more like goals) include a light-on-gas car, a small home of my own, some new clothes, and the will to push on in life.
Thank you for visiting me here. Peace and happiness.
Adrienne
July 2010
